Happy Birthday My Sweetest

Today is my Hubby's birthday. We spent his birthday out-of-town camping and gold panning. It was a long weekend and spending it up north without access to internet and cellphone made it more exciting if not challenging.

We spent long hours in the river gold panning. It was one of those moments where "patience" was put to test. Hubby was so patient with his hobby. He spent 8 hours dredging underwater. And I spend 8 hours too... waiting, picking rocks from the sluice, and taking photos every now and then. It was tiring but I already psyche myself up that it's Hubby's birthday so I need to be nice.

Dearest Sweetest,

Happy Birthday. Hope you had a wonderful time camping and gold panning with me.

It was not the first time we spent time together on a weekend out-of-town. It was not the first time we spent time together doing what you love to do. And it was not the first time that we really had fun together.

It has been 3 years already since we started doing things together. It has been 3 years already since I first came here to the United States. And it has been 3 years already since you said that "I was the greatest gift" you ever received on your birthday because I came here 2 days before your 50th birthday.

Three years may not be long enough to measure how much you mean to me. Three years may not be enough to know how much I care for you. And three year may not be enough for you to realize that I do need you.

I maybe like any other wife who nags when I see a thing to nag about. I maybe like your mother who criticizes when you procrastinate things. And I maybe like your old teacher who corrects when I know that you did something wrong. But still, you know that I am the woman that you married, despite my imperfection.

Today is your birthday and I wish you a very happy birthday. May God give you good health so that you will be spend more birthdays with me. May God give you the strength you need to be able to do the things you love doing with me. And may God give you more years so I can spend more weekend getaways together doing what you love to do.

I love you and Happy Birthday my Sweetest.

Always

Your Sweetie

 The dirt road.

Swift East river

Hubby dredging.

This beats the boring sound of the dredging motor.

Viva Las Vegas

My parents-in-law love Las Vegas. They spend a couple of week’s vacation in Las Vegas almost twice a year. This year, they stayed longer… almost a month. They just love the weather there and the lights and the sound, especially the sound of the slot machines ringing. “They are just music to our ear”… they said. Hahahaha

This year, I was trying to convince dear Hubby to try Viva Las Vegas for our Wedding Anniversary getaway. He is a very quiet person and he loves nature. That is why he is more into hunting, fishing and gold panning. But I love the city, the lights, the sound, and the shopping, of course. I just don’t know how I can convince him so I can cruise the city in style. Oh how I wish I could go around the city in a Las Vegas Limousine.

I want to ride one of those Las Vegas Limousines or maybe try the Exotic Limo Las Vegas that I see in one of those travel shows on TV. I think they are just gorgeous.

I don’t know. I just love to try the good life of the rich and famous. Hahahaha It’s a dream but if I could make it come true just for a day or two… why not, right? I just want to experience Viva Las Vegas in style.

I was once a Mom... for a brief moment

It's Mother's Day again. This is the day when I can't help but feel touchy. I can't help but feel too sensitive about a lot of things. And I can't help it if I feel like crying.

Though I have made the decision not too long ago not to have a child no more... I still feel that empty hallow feeling at the pit of my stomach every time this special day come. But trust me, the feeling passes by so quickly as that special day does.

No... don't feel bad for me. My decision to remain childless is final, unless otherwise God has other plans for me. Don't pity me. I am all set with being childless and I don't feel bad about it. Don't judge me. It is the best decision I made for myself and I don't regret it.

Yes... I love children but having one is not for me. I love children... but maybe  I am not meant to be a mother. I love the child that I once had and it will remain in my heart forever.

I am 45 year old... and though I am still capable of bearing a child... the risk for me to have one is so high. And if I do get pregnant at this age and give birth to a healthy baby... the responsibility of raising a child is too overwhelming for me. I am not getting any younger. If I have a baby this year... I will be 55 years old when she or he turns 10... and 65 years old when he or she turns 20. I'm not just doing the math here... I am just accepting the fact and making sense of the reality of life. At 65 years old I wanted to retire and relax and enjoy life. It will be too selfish to do so if I have a child going to college.

Though, I believe many won't agree with my reasons... I believe that I am responsible enough to not have one if I cannot be a good mom. Life is too short and I want to make the most out of it. I salute all mothers in the world and the sacrifices that you are doing for the sake of your children. And to you... my deepest respect I offer.

I was once a Mom... and for that brief moment in my life as a woman... I did feel being a real mom. My little angel though is just watching me from up above... will remain in my heart to treasure. And I will always cherish that special moment that I had with him no matter how short and vague.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers in the world.

the lake, the rain and the chores

It's another weekend. It's another soggy weekend. And so, it's another weekend blue for me. Hubby is out in the lake today... fishing. And I am not really very impressed to be honest with you.

First of all... it is raining. I don't want to think of the worse case scenario... but anything can happen... in the lake... when it is raining... and when the water is freezing cold.

Second of all... he may be having a beer or two with his buddy. I don't want to think of the possible think that can happen... but anything can really happen... when one is tipsy or drunk... when friends are having fun... and when they are out in the lake.

And third of all... I am here alone. I don't want to state the obvious... but it isn't fun when you are at home... when the laundry is piled up... when the bedroom is a mess... and you have tons of backlog to blog.

A Yay! Yay! Yay!